Well, I have exemplified my laziness. Fine, since you people are so insistent about having questions answered, I suppose I'll have to come down to the damned cave and teach you people to stop watching shadows. All you have to do is turn around, for god's sake! The SUN is right behind you. (For all of those that don't understand, there is no teaching you anything. In fact, take the nearest emergency exit from life.) Anyway, in order of stupidty.. err appearance, here are your questions:
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Why is Melee so excellent?
Posted 1/31/2006 at 12:44 AM by JZ123 |
A picture is worth a thousand words. The answer to your question in neat pictoral form:
NEXT!
Also, what's with this sexual favors thing? Jenn doesn't get it.. Explain Mr. Philosophermiser!
Posted 1/31/2006 at 12:45 AM by JZ123
I'll ignore this so my brain doesn't implode.
Moving on...!
why are steve's boobs so nice?
Posted 1/31/2006 at 12:46 AM by lilac2785
Now, this question is tough. I think we need a bit of conceptual analysis here. For the sake of argument, I'll be assuming Steve is a man. So, why are Steve's man boobs so nice? Taking the authoratative definition of 'man boobs' from http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=man+boobs , the new question is:
Why are Steve's large jelly like saddle bags that sway in the breeze so nice?
Innate Skill.
Moving right along..
Why does Matt's away message always say "hey now"?
Posted 1/31/2006 at 1:40 AM by thedesertbox
Without it, Matt would lose his personal identity. He'd spawn a twin who would break in half, then reform to make 2 new Matts. His brain would be reconstructed functionally as a computer and a martian Matt would abduct one of his twins. After a rousing game of Scrabble, the martian Matt would realize he's never been to Disneyland and he'd go to a hypnotist for Disneyland-memory implants (not as nice as Steve's swaying jelly saddles). The rest of the Matts would figure out that THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE or else they all don't count as people. Lightning would strike the ground and they'd all develop scottish accents. A hand-to-hand combat would ensue, revealing the EXCELLENCE of MELEE.
Next!
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ZOMBIES DON'T EXIST . . . or do they?
Can zombie flowers exist? I don't like this thought experiment.
When can I play guitar hero?
Dave's question: Why do people get everything they should be missing but miss everything they should be getting?
Posted 2/2/2006 at 1:36 AM by ZiNFaNDeLLe |
Lemme tackle these in reverse: Dave's question:
Remember! Clarity is Godliness. Maybe. Let's run with it. "get" could mean different things! For example, 'receive' or 'comprehend.' The question is interpretable depending on the meaning. For interpretation, english majors are necessary. Damn you, Dave... for making English majors necessary.
When can't you play guitar hero?
What kind of zombie flowers? Are we talking like.. Chalmer's zombie flowers? Or Resident Evil zombie flowers? Ohh! Or maybe Dawn of the Dead zombie flowers? You got some crazy plants, man. Did you ever see Reefer Madness (the new one)? Or Little Shop of Horrors? Those are absolutely true documentaries about the existence of zombie plants. If there can be zombie plants, I imagine any flowering plant that is a zombie qualifies as a zombie flower. So yes, there are zombie flowers. Have you ever been around on zombie Valentine's Day? The things sell like zombiecakes.
ALMOST DONE!--------
Whoa, you have a xanga?
Posted 2/17/2006 at 3:50 PM by Her_Royal_Evilness
Nope.
And finally...
Why does Sam continue to put this link on his profile, despite his not answering a single question in the last three months?
Posted 4/27/2006 at 7:02 PM by thedesertbox
Philosophizing takes time, thedesertbox. OR SHOULD I SAY NEAL!? Ha. You doubted my power, but I saw through your clever disguise. I think a better question is... why are you concerned with people always putting things in their away messages/profiles? What grudge do you have against continuity, tradition, the forces of good? You might as well just declare yourself the anti-melee, which is anti-excellent. Would you rather Matt NEVER put hey now in his profile (you know what'll happen), or I DIDN'T CONTINUE to put the link in my profile? Why do you want the forces of evil to triumph, Neal? God continues to keep you on his buddy list, DESPITE your face. But now he's thinking of blocking your ass. How's that taste, heathen?
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